Come in weary Traveler, rest awhile.
You have fought a valiant battle through vast jungles of popups, against legions of hostile URLs, confronted on every side by aggressive banners and predatory animated gifs. Trust no one, you say? Believe not a word? Rest, you are safe now with us, restore tranquillity to your soul.
Can we offer you some refreshments? We cater to every taste.
May we recommend a menu? Perhaps a light assortment of Altuna to wet your appetite.
Manara for the main course with a side order of spicy Noe topped off with just a dash of Ferocious. A little garnish of Serpieri would balance your selection quite well.
For dessert, what else but a generous slice of Von Gotha if you are inclined toward something sweet. For mood, perhaps a little music, Symphony number 2 by Solano Lopez would be my choice.
Are you not full yet? May we then suggest a little Riverstone, just a whiff, enough to haunt your coming days, to fill it with a deep longing for more.
Ahh! Feast your eyes on all the varieties we offer. Eat, drink and be merry for outside our gates the slaughter still goes on.
Remember us well. Bookmark us to find your way back to this oasis of comfort in a sea of greed and madness. Come again.
Restored, we send you on your way, both of us richer by the encounter.